I relieve you of the responsibility to keep the secret from him. I am releasing you from the bondage of loyalty and so you are free to do what you feel will ease your burden (assuming that you are burdened by my decision to be distant; in the same way that I am writing you off. YOU are free to confide to him freely the thoughts that might be bothering you. I don't want to give a damn about anything about you or him. I want to purge my system of any memory of you.

I don't care anymore what he might be thinking. I don't care if he knows. It's probably good that he knows. It's not that I am ashamed that he knows, he should, he is entitled to it. I just don't want to care. I guess the pain did make me stronger than what I expected. I'm not ready to face them, not now, probably not ever. I feel that I am not losing anything, except for their friendship. I feel that it was not worth it. Not worth it.